she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
