she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
