Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you had me at cake vodka
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
