i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
