Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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