we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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