yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
