Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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