omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have aggressive nipples.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
