we're blogging at a bar
Me too!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
