Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
