i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
