my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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