I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
