I looked at my own cervix.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
