Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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