the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
handjob tips. give me some.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
