And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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