just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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