hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
