I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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