I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
