So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
