i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
