I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
