My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
