so let's talk penis.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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