i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
