Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Dicks are not precious.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
