I wannas sexs uuuuu
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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