I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
