she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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