Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
