fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
