so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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