For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
