$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
