It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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