SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
