how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
4 words: hood of his car
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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