It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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