Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
