I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
