oh god the rape fog is back!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
