boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
