Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
