Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
