Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
