Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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