She's JV to your varsity
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
