I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
